Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Tiny Spots of Water and A Few Thoughts Too Many

(Ooo, I'm back to my color posts. Cause I just realized I was editing on HTML format.
Bummers.)

In the past few months that I've been ignoring this section of my life, I've come to many conclusions, thwarted them and then reached some more.
As I move forward in almost all aspects of my life, there are certain that hinder my steps.
I can't decide if it's out of free-will or... a super-natural karmic force. Sometimes it's easier to blame it on that... at the same time as giving you a reason, it gives you hope.
Now whether that's a good thing or not is for one to decide.

I feel that I might, perhaps, have to move forward... forcefully... and forcing myself to do things emotionally and spiritually is hard because I don't like facing the music. Can't see it, can't feel it... Or something like that.
I've matured, blossomed, grown and all that jazz but I can't seem to move forward.

It's a sense of detachment that I feel now. Most of the times it's painful... at other times I reason with myself that this is how it's supposed to be. Life isn't easy... thats for sure. The bumps just make it tougher... but hey! Whats the point of whining? Just enjoy it? Too much happiness ain't good... too much of anything ain't good!
Balance, my friend, is the key to life.
C'est tres simple.

As I close this post and hope that I'll be coming back with more, I want to say that one can't find any direction without being led because sometimes, just sometimes, you can't lead yourself. Leaning on someone is not wrong... especially if you feel its your prerogative and their obligation. The fact that you might not get that finger pointing in a direction is another matter... either you wait... or, as you can see me complaining about how I'm not able to do it, you move forward.

Take the weight off your shoulders and look for an abyss that's cushioned with flowers!
Be happy, make merry.




Monday, April 7, 2008

It's Taking Far Too Long

When I decided to get myself a life and closure 5 months ago, I didn't expect to be stuck in the same position now... 5 months later.

I blamed everything else but myself for not finding the closure I needed and I think it's time I turned the tables and fingers around and pointed them at me... at my chest... at my heart.

I. Have. Got. To. Cut. Off.




Completely.