Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Heavy.

I feel so alone.

I feel lost, with no direction and no one to turn to. I've always believed that the only person I ever needed was myself but then I made friends and realized that it's not a bad thing to want to lean on someone.
But the people I thought I could lean on are not dependable to me.
It's not that I don't care... it's just that I don't think they do... enough.

On a personal note, I feel very heavy. I feel lost in a maze that I created with every step I took, thinking I was walking in the right direction.
Now I'm lost.
I don't know which is out and which way is taking me in deeper. I hate this feeling of loss. This feeling of emptiness.
I hate regret... and it's what i am doing now.

Everything I stood for has fallen to bits and pieces... or at least that's how it feels. It's a little difficult taking in a breath because my heart skips a beat or two when I think about where I am.

I'm going to try and just be... just be right now but it's hard to do when I think about it.

I need a direction.
I need focus.

I need to need only me.

1 comment:

sandeep said...

like these lines the best...

I feel lost in a maze that I created with every step I took, thinking I was walking in the right direction.

thanks for the comment on my blog [:)]