Monday, October 1, 2007


When I sit and contemplate the turn of events... it's pretty ironic how the conclusions I draw somehow always remain the same.
Is it because the world hasn't changed or is it because I haven't changed?

I have changed... I feel it.
I can feel the deep swell of understanding right there in the middle of my chest; I can feel the heightened sense of power in my mind that makes me believe that I wield the sword at all times; I feel the fire in my belly... though maybe that's just youth.

The world changing is a question.
Why would everything be so monotonous if the world had truly changed?
Where is that deep swell of understanding?

Sometimes events take an almost deja-vu-ish turn... and for the first time I am spending days and sometimes minutes hoping that that's exactly what is happening at the moment.

Seasons are changing... but why is it that the heart never does?
Have you ever wondered why you always feel pain the same way you did the time before?

How come, unlike autumn where there is always one more leaf that flutters to ground with every passing year, every emotion feels just the same time after time?
Why is it that, unlike the different flowers of spring, we are governed only by one emotion for every situation?
How is that, unlike the fluctuating heat of the summer, lust always burns us the same?
And what is it that, unlike the various shapes of the winter snowflakes, the person you first loved never changes?

Maybe that's why monsoons make more sense to me... no matter how hard the rain falls, it still pitter patters.
And ironically...

... it is the only time of the year my emotions waver.

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