Thursday, August 2, 2007

And it's treachery afterall.

I have spent months dwelling on that one person. A person I thought understood. A person I thought belonged to me... even if it's just a small part.
But again, I have been proved wrong.
Surprising how people turn out to be exactly what you thought they weren't.

Words for thoughts:
I gave you a part of my everything. I gave you a part of my thoughts. I gave you something someone else never got.. today I realize it was in vain.
Everything in vain!
What a fool I was to have believed you! A fool to have ever succumbed to yours words.
Words that I now realize were just filthy lies.
Riddles with ulterior motives I still do not understand.
I am trying to quench this bitterness towards new.
Such a new emotion.. never directed at you.
Never.
But everything changes.
Days when I took comfort in your thoughts... moments when your words would make me smile... Nights when your imaginary hands would make me writhe....... What a farce.
Just a farce.
I call myself foolish. A little, naive girl who fell into your hands.
Succumbed to the emotions you claimed were there.
Today I shall let you go. I will fight what I thought was real.
I'll bind you in my mind and put you away.
Discard you.
Tear you away with a ferocity that shall impact you.
If not now, then later.
But I will heed this pain; this bitterness; this recklessness that now courses through me.
The consequences will be experienced by you.
Intensely.
And I shall watch... and laugh in the glory.
The glory of my triumph.
And yet, oh the mirth!, I ache to know that you might ache for me.
But that is just lies. Nothing that I should believe.
-- No longer your anything.

These are the words I let rip from me.

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